National Anthems

So there was a big sporting event recently (Canadians: not hockey) and somebody flubbed the words to the U.S. National anthem in front of bazillions of people and one kid in a Darth Vader costume.

I am not an apologist for overhyped, overexposed divas. However, here are some thoughts about THAT whole thing.

1. Americans, you're highly offended that said diva doesn't know the words to the national anthem. Do YOU? Really? "And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the" what? Night? Fight? Either might work. Don't think about it. You'll have to go look it up if you think too much.

2. Musically, "The Star-Spangled Banner" is damn near impossible to sing UNLESS you're an overhyped diva. Not that overhyped divas sing it at all musically.

3. Canadians, your national anthem is easier, except when Conservatives try to deflect attention from issues by "fixing" words, which I wrote about ad nauseam a year ago.

4. Also Canadians, I still don't get that whole "stand on guard" bit. However, at least when you forget some words, you have a fallback phrase that's got a good chance of being accurate.

5. Is the whole "she flubbed the words" worth getting bent out of shape over? I don't think so--but it is useful to wonder whether some other professional singer might be worth hiring next year, even if they aren't starring in an overhyped, overexposed, underdelivering movie.

6. Here's an idea: Maybe pick someone who's an actual professional SINGER, as opposed to an entertainer. Maybe have a "no diva" policy.

I'm gonna ask that Darth Vader kid to work on THAT.

Hi Ho Hip Hooray

Well, it happened. I heard my third "tickety-boo" today. And when n = 3, and none of those "n"s is is a relative, and especially when one of them was a CBC pundit, I feel compelled to share.

So, here you go: "Things were going along tickety-boo when all hell broke loose."

I have never heard it used when it wasn't followed by the sense of "but I was mistaken" or "but that didn't last long."

As in, the economy was chugging along tickety-boo until the housing market collapsed. Or I was running all my errands, tickety-boo, and then I got slowed by road construction.

A brief Google search reveals that it may be Scottish, and that's likely how it came into Canada.

It also revealed the following earworm, with which I leave you:



It is, after all, a peaches-and-creamy day, on which one wants to bless mankind, including one's attackers.

Drawing it First

As I have mentioned before, Mark Twain may or may not have said "History does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme."

So, here we go again. It's springlike enough, and there is enough outdoor work to be done, that my physical activity sometimes is a walk but sometimes is yard work. Or what passes for yard work when you live in the country and you cultivate the Garden of Benign Neglect.

Today, I raked pine needles. It required me to make up a boundary, a border, a line beyond which raking is ridiculous--that over there is "forest," "bush," or "brush," as it is sometimes known here. This over here? "Yard." Obviously. I can only hope that next time I go out raking I remember where that "line" is.

I have had to do things like this before. But it seems that I must learn annually both that I must drawn the line and how/where to draw the line.

And then I can rake it. (While humming "Walk the Line," of which [sadly] I know only some of the chorus tune and that one phrase. Thank God for iPods.)

Some Days are Just Easy. Others are Foncusing.

The easy part is the photo. The confusing part--that's everything else.

The return to health in this household--and now, health coverage in the U.S. for a group that's the size of Canada's population--are offset by other stuff. Layoffs and furloughs for loved ones, meetings and fatigue, "now what?" rock/me (or us)/hard-place scenarios.

Spring is coming. The grass is greening, birds are nesting, ice is melting. The season is at least a month ahead of schedule, in line with the calendar instead of where it belongs (fits and starts in April, a week or two in late May, another week sometime in June).

Meanwhile, I say "Uh, thanks for the gift, but doesn't that horse have awfully worn teeth?" as I think ahead to a dry lake this summer. Worry is forward thinking based on backward thinking. Worry is not forward motion; I do know that.

But perhaps worry, that back-forth-back-forth, that vibrational thing, is especially appropriate at this time of year, the equinox, when the days are (somewhere) (more or less) as long as the nights. Welcome as the light is, this time of year represents (gasp) change. Spring is a shift, made even more foncusing (that started as a typo and turned out to be cute) by Daylight Saving efforts, and it requires an analogous shift in thinking.

I sigh as the world walks from Yin Time to Yang Time. I put away dreams of what I was going to do this past winter. What I actually did is so much less than what I hoped to do. As ever.

I look ahead (not "forward," exactly) to spring and summer--short seasons here, demanding times. I wonder whether it's a good idea to slide some winter dreams into those seasons.

Probably not. Yang time is fleeting (though it can be exhausting to curl-up-by-the-fire introverts). It's best to accept its gifts with the frenzied joy of creation, the spirit with which they're offered.

But...but.



As my sister, and my sister Ella, say: Spring Can Really Hang You Up The Most. Sing it, sister.

Clarifying the National Anthem

Yesterday was the Speech from the Throne. Americans: It's somewhat analogous to the State of the Union Address in that it's a general statement of vision, with some bullet points. The more specific info comes today at 4, with the budget speech in the House of Commons.

Dilettante alert: I don't pretend to do a close analysis of either speech. I wait to hear what the news people say about it and read it if I hear something interesting. So here's what I looked at this morning: "Our Government will also ask Parliament to examine the original gender-neutral English wording of the national anthem."

I was pretty interested in this. What with all the Canadians singing it at the Winter Olympics (ahem: owning that podium, one might say), the anthem has been on my mind lately. And frankly, I've always been curious about what exactly I'm supposed to do when I "stand on guard." It's all over the anthem. But what is it?

Alas, that remains a mystery. Apparently the phrase in question is "True patriot love in all thy sons command." The original, pre-WWI wording: "True patriot love thou dost in us command." Proposed: "True patriot love in all our hearts command."

Okay, whatever. Obviously, this anthem issue isn't the most important problem Canada faces. Obviously, changing the wording of the anthem hurts no one--and doesn't particularly improve the status of women, either. Still, symbols are important.

And if symbols are important, what IS all this about standing on guard? It's military. Is that what Canada the nation is--a primarily military construct? The role and definition of peacekeeping, and Canada's strong identification with peacekeeping (vs. what? war-waging? ah: war-mongering!), has been under discussion (one might say "under attack") since Afghanistan.

The anthem's Wikipedia entry, which is likely not the repository of all official information about the anthem, lists many revisons to the anthem through the 20th century. They seem to be responses to changing social conditions, not real changes in Canada's self-definition. I was interested to learn that the anthem once had even MORE standing on guard.

Meanwhile, south of the border, Americans stoutly sing their national anthem despite its inherent melodic challenges without knowing the words beyond the first and last phrases. The American anthem supports a cottage industry of people writing new popular patriotic songs, particularly in the country music world, as Americans search for a song that (1) they can sound good while singing and that also (2) makes them feel good (even better!) about themselves.

Maybe that's what Canada needs: A Lee Greenwood-style, "God Bless the U.S.A."-type song.

Or, hmmm, maybe not.

But in the post-Vancouver-Olympics, post-Copenhagen, mid-Afghanistan, mid-economic crisis world, here's the real question: How can Canada best participate as a responsible world citizen while supporting its own people: citizens and residents?

Specifics to follow, today, at 4.

Thunder Bay: My Home Town

For people who think Thunder Bay is the back end of nowhere, here's a counter-story.

On February 4, the video below was posted on YouTube.



Since its posting, more than 200,000 people have watched the video. That's twice the city's population.

Jordan Burnell (from TBay) is currently a university student in Toronto. Matt Popowich runs Westfort Films, based here in Thunder Bay. Good on you guys.

An interview with them on CBC's morning show, the Great Northwest, is available here.

Shh! Can I have some peace and quiet for the Sleeping Giant?

Un-Patriotism

Hi, my name is Marion, and I'm un-patriotic. In both countries. And I'm taking advantage of this sweet spot between Canada Day and Independence Day to clear the air.

Here are a few of my un-favo(u)rite Canadian things.

• Diana Krall. I know I should like her music but I don't. I just don't. I really want to, but I don't. I have tried. I don't like her public performing persona. I'm sure she's a wonderful person. I just don't like her. I also don't like performances by Celine Dion, Shania Twain, or Rita MacNeil (though Rita writes reasonable songs). I'm not nuts about Anne Murray. Yeah yeah--icons, wildly successful, I get that. But no, I don't like them. Sorry. Oh, and Mike Myers and Keanu Reeves. Nope.
• The Listener. It's a Canadian program that's also popular in the U.S. and I'm supposed to be supportive and happy, but this program is ridiculous. It's certainly no Flashpoint, which is the best of that lot. And CBC doesn't necessarily do a better job of original programming. The Border is waaaay melodramatic but I have managed to sit through entire episodes because the content is interesting to someone interested in the Canada/U.S. border. Reaching back in time, Intelligence and DaVinci Goes Viral are both too dark. Not dark in content--literally dark. I can't see a thing and the content doesn't inspire me to try harder. And you remember last summer's vote-Maria-off-the-island reality show. Brrr.
• Lloyd Robertson, anchor of CTV news. I should admire his ability to mince while sitting behind a desk, but that seems a dubious distinction. His delivery is just plain distracting, even when he's not stumbling over the words. Peter Mansbridge, CBC anchor, bellows a bit but he, at least, reads reasonably well. Though he needs to stop it with that "Next on most CBC stations: Geoooooooooorge Stroumboulopoulous! and The Hour."
• Persians, a dislike that makes me doubly traitorous because they're unique to Thunder Bay. But blech. Also poutine: don't get the point. And I'm not a fan of either Tim Horton's or Robin's Donuts. I'm supposed to support Tim's again because it recently moved its headquarters from Delaware back to somewhere in Ontario. But sorry.

Of course, the list of my un-favorite American things is longer. I've had many more years to compile it. But for some reason, the existence of that list inspires far less guilt. Somehow it seems acceptable to have reservations about the country one is born into, where one grew up. Though, given the country, it's sometimes risky to be vocal about one's reservations.

However, for the most part, I am unapologetic about the content of my un-favorite American things. The top of that list, today, is Michael Jackson. I know: icon, maverick, influential, yeah yeah. Don't like him. Didn't like Elvis, either. I can appreciate the importance of their contributions without liking them. And therefore, I do.

But about having un-favo(u)rite Canadian things: it seems churlish, having chosen to live in this country, not to be out front leading the parade with my face painted like the flag, red bars on the sides and maple leaf down my nose. I should be singing "Ontari-ari-ari-oooooo" and "Can-a-dah!" I should see nothing but fabulousness. I shouldn't complain about the weather, the healthcare system, the roads, the gas prices, the difficulty an immigrant has in establishing credit, the political leadership...well, you get the idea.

I do enjoy many Canadian things and people. I'm a big fan of Leonard Cohen, Holly Cole, and Molly Johnson. I like butter tarts and Nanaimo bars. I like meeting people with all kinds of interesting backgrounds who speak many languages.

But mostly I enjoy living in a country where patriotism takes the form of a mild smugness. Canadians think their country is pretty great, but they would never be so crass as to say so aloud. And that's darn refreshing.

So--Canada, I'm sorry about that "don't like" list but I know we can still be friends. And U.S.--well, I'm wishing you the best from elsewhere and hoping you have a fine holiday. (Pssst. Canada Day was better.)

Happy Patriotic Holiday Week

I've said before that Canada lacks patriotic songs, and I lived to regret saying it.

And yet, here's the topic again. And here's why: I've found what might serve as Canada's answer to the schlocky patriotic songs, most of which happen to be country music, that are played ad nauseum in the U.S. during the days leading up to July 4. Frankly, I consider these "my country, right or wrong" songs more than schlocky--I find them dangerously ignorant. Therefore, I won't be getting any more specific.

So, Canada's answer: Stompin' Tom Connors. He's "country," mostly in the sense of "folk," and "folk" in the sense of Pete Seeger. He's written about Canadian historic tragedies, about potatoes and tomatoes, and hockey. He received six Juno awards--Canada's version of the Grammy--and sent them back because Juno awards are now given to artists who may be Canadian but whose careers are American.

In other words, he's a bit of a contrarian. And he's not even from Alberta, which some call the Texas of Canada. He's from PEI, a cross between Maine (picturesque, Anne of Green Gables) and Idaho (potatoes).

In any case, here's what made me think of this:



But can I just say that I don't know of any American patriotic songs that mention Canada? Yes, I know, "Blame Canada," blah blah. But it's a novelty song. And it's not going to be played this coming week.

Sharing the Pain. Er, Joy. Amended.

Sundays are stressful for me--all that "getting to a prescribed place at a prescribed time" stuff, followed by a hefty helping of "being nice to other people." Afternoons, I often find a comfortable chair or couch, close my eyes, and meditate on the beauty of being alone.

Yesterday, however, Roy turned on the TV to discover an hour-long retrospective about Expo 67--"The hundredth anniversary of confederation," as the song says. History in lyrics, the forerunner of Schoolhouse Rock. Again, invented by Canadians and popularized by Americans.

But I digress. The point is this: what's stuck in my head?

See for yourself below. Do watch long enough to see the shot of the trumpet bell around 1:30.



The pied piper tour guide is Bobby Gimby, Canada's answer to Doc Severinsen.

The TV show also mentioned the movie about Ontario, introduced at Expo with split-screen technology. It won an Oscar, by the way. If the above isn't enough to keep you humming for hours, this should do it.



With hopes as high as the tallest tree, in my land of lakes and snow...Ontari-ari-ari-oooooooo.

Amended to add what I meant to say before I got sidetracked playing with YouTube. First of all, a quiz to see if you've been paying attention. What was the population of Canada in 1967? Answer: about 20 million. It's in the first video.

Second, my serious point (and of COURSE I have one, being "too serious") is that you can learn a lot about a country by their musical theatre.

In a life long ago and far away, I played in the pit orchestra of a production of "Oklahoma!" For a lot of reasons, participating in that show ranks as one of my all-time favo(u)rite experiences.

The music makes sense, for one thing. Yes, it's familiar--a Rodgers and Hammerstein classic. I've seen the movie a billion times. We had an LP of it when I was a kid. But beyond familiarity, the music makes sense. The harmonies make sense. If you have a bunch of measures of rest and lose count, it doesn't matter--you still know when to come in because it just sounds right.

So it was a pleasure to play. But beyond that, it's a show that can tell someone a lot about America and Americans. Not that "Oklahoma!" the show in any way resembles Oklahoma the state--but it's what Americans want to believe about themselves. Here's a quick list.

• In Kansas City, like other big cities, they've gone about as fur as they can go. We-uns prefer the simple life, where we don't get took by city slickers.
• The farmer and the cowman should be friends. We should all be friends because that way we get their women.
• It's OK to pretend to have a surrey you don't actually have if it gets you the girl, even temporarily. She's really in love with you even if she acts stupid. And shucks, that's true of boys acting stupid, too.
• The bad guys are not only dirty, they're bad because they live like hogs and thus want to be bad.
• If you're too stupid to live and thus don't understand your own life, fall asleep and you'll experience a frightening dream ballet, choreographed by Martha Graham (or someone like her), which will put all the pieces together for you.
• Not being able to say "no" is all fun and games till your father finds his shotgun. Then you have to marry whoever he says.
• Good guys may kill the bad guys, but only accidentally, when the bad guy falls on his own knife.
• We know we belong to the land, and the land we belong to is grand. Or maybe vice versa.
• And while nobody wants to break the law, it's just fine to bend it a little.

Oh, and by the way: there are good guys and bad guys. Even the peddler, who trades with anyone, has to decide become a good guy by the end of the show. At the end of a shotgun barrel, but still.

So my serious point was going to be this: Even though the above "Ca-na-da!" and "Place to Stand" clips aren't musical theatre, exactly, it's still interesting to see Canada's own stories about itself from 40 years ago. Here are some of the things I see.

• We're an optimistic people, with cheerful, obedient kids and clean cities.
• We're not ashamed to use "thee" in a song. And we speak a little French, too. But not enough to be intimidating. Heck, you probably know it, too--sing along!
• We're still building Ontario, even though Europeans have been living there as long as they have south of 49.

There's more, of course. But that's a start. Note: no good guys. No bad guys. The Soviet Union had a pavilion at Expo 67, as did Cuba. So did the U.S. See? We can all get along!

Egg? Chicken? Egg?

Because I am pretty old, I remember when music videos were a big deal, a new thing. I thought the music video was a great idea--finally I'd get to see what the writer/singer thought she was doing when she wrote/sang the song. Because I don't really "get" poetry, and I am often baffled by popular culture, I need help. So hooray, a visual.

As is true with anything under the sun, music videos have detractors and admirers. Have videos killed the radio star? Do they change the listener into a viewer and thus divert attention from the musical integrity of the song to the size of the singer's thighs?

If not for music videos, would Susan Boyle even be a phenomenon? She might have had a singing career without requiring her recent "discovery." If nobody had ever felt the need to care about her eyebrow-waxing habits, we would never have had our recent epiphanies about the shallow nature of the entertainment business.

Speaking of brows: for those highbrows who wonder whether the term "musical integrity" can be applied to popular music--well, if you recuse yourself from participating in the party, sure you'll miss a lot of angst and hand-wringing. But if if you allow people to try to nail down distinctions between "art" and "commerce," you have time to actually eat something and drink your drink while their noses are either in the air or out of joint.

Anyway, I have always found music videos entertaining. I also enjoyed the riffs on music videos, like VH1's "pop-up videos," because I could not only watch the music video, I could learn something relatively useless.

And now, thanks to YouTube, we have something called a "literal video"--a video in which the lyrics to the song reflect what is happening in the video.

Here's a funny one.



If you search on YouTube, you can also see versions of REM's "Losing My Religion" and The Beatles's "Penny Lane."

Aren't humans are amazingly inventive beings? What's next--a new tune to go with the new lyrics that describe the video representation of the old tune and lyrics? I can't wait to see.

I Wish Everyone

Would go out and buy Molly Johnson's Lucky. The title track alone is guaranteed to brighten today and every Monday. Who knows--it might even cure road rage, the economic blues, and the surfeit of hockey.

Warning: the video below is a bit shaky, so don't watch if you have issues with motion sickness.



The CD has a few misses, notably an uptempo version of "Mean to Me" in which the sparkly music doesn't welcome the black-and-blue lyrics. I'm also not nuts about the Westminster Chime intro (the three-quarter-hour version, for those who are into that) to "If I had a Bell" but once she's in it, she sells it.

Molly Johnson layers meaning deep into the classics and makes you hear them in a whole new way. "Ode to Billy Joe" becomes more than the cliche of young doomed love--she makes it sexy and mysterious and tragic. In "I Loves You Porgy," her Bess goes beyond self-indulgent to show the honesty and self-deception of a woman who can't resist what's bad for her. "Lush Life," which I have thought of as "theme and variations on feeling jaded," becomes rueful and honest.

So go buy it. Or, because it's possible these days, buy at least the charming title track. Her official website, with ordering information and more background (including her bio) is here.

Because the whole damn world should be as lucky as I am!