47 Days of Thanks/Gratitude, Week 3

Here are the posts from Week 3. To see "What the heck is this?" and weeks 1 and 2, go here and start at the bottom.

‎47 Days of Thanks, Day 15: I'm grateful for days when the toughest pre-9 a.m. decision is "Is THIS gorgeous sunrise worth taking pictures of?"

‎47 Days of Thanks, Day 16: I'm grateful for friends whose infectious laughter cuts through the hubbub of a restaurant and makes everyone smile.

‎47 Days of Thanks, Day 17: I'm grateful that I stopped to investigate that black thing bobbing in my morning coffee. It WAS a bug. And now it's down the drain, and I get to drink fresh coffee while sitting inside, dry and warm, on a windy, rainy morning.

47 Days of Thanks, Day 18: I'm so grateful the high winds haven't knocked our power ou--

‎47 Days of Thanks, Day 19: I'm grateful our power is back on. In this house, that means not only light, heat, refrigeration, and Internet, but also running water! Flush toilets and warm showers!

‎47 Days of Thanks, Day 20: I'm grateful that of the ~25 trees we will have to deal with (not counting ones that fell that we're leaving), only two came close to structures, and the damage was minimal (one eave).

‎47 Days of Thanks, Day 21: I'm very grateful to be married to someone who, when hearing that trees are down, rubs his hands together and says, "This will be fun!" Then he gets out the chainsaw.

And here's what I learned.

1. Never say "I wonder what Week X will bring." Week 3 brought gale-force winds and a big storm that brought down trees. As you might have gathered. Which was slightly freaky to me, as you also might have gathered. On the up side, being without power for more than 30 hours has made me more mindful of the little things: Lights that come on when you flick the switch. A functioning plumbing system. The invention of things like candles and batteries.

2. Doing this exercise has kept me mindful longer of those things, which is usually not the case. When I'm sick, I long to feel well. But when I'm well, well becomes "normal" and I long for something else. Because of reviewing the things I can be grateful for, the gratitude for normal has stuck around longer.

3. As I told a friend over coffee, I would suck as a Chilean miner. It wasn't so much the discomforts of being without power that bugged me--those were minimal. It was the not knowing, and the many, many arenas in which I couldn't know. When would the lights be back on? Was that balsam at the point coming down on the little camp? Where else would the roof leak? What's happening in town (they also lost power in spots)? That balsam--we should have taken it down but how could we when it wasn't safe? And speaking of safe, when will it be safe to go outside and check the trees? Et cetera.

4. Even in the middle of the gale, there really was a lot to be grateful for. Namely, that I was in a house, however leaky when rain is driven at the windows with such force, and thus relatively safe. Also, 30 hours is not that long in the scheme of things. It's October (though the weather has turned chilly), not January, so heating was not as big an issue as it could have been. Lots of extenuating circumstances and I was more aware than otherwise of those, thanks to this gratitude exercise.

LOTS of learning this week. Evidently I enjoy control and routine. Also being able to take a shower whenever I want. Which isn't learning so much as re-learning or being reminded of. Which is okay, too.

A Clampett Moment (30+ Hours Without Power)

I hail from Oklahoma. Got my higher education in Arkansas. Clampett country, all of it, though I have to say that my own family isn't particularly Clampett-esque. Love the Clampetts. Nothing wrong with 'em. It's just that normally, I ain't one.

However, sometimes having the Clampett cultural reference to draw upon helps explain things. Such as the tires as landscaping aids (which did not in fact get to the dump, er, landfill this summer, darn it all). Even though these things aren't even in the U. S. of A. Even though they're in Canada.

Here's the deal. We have had 30+ power-free hours around here since Tuesday. I don't respond well to the lack of control. Also, with the wind and rain came leakage around the windows. That's water dripping in around the HOUSE windows. Water to the extent that we have to rig up plastic tubs under those beautiful bay windows I love the rest of the time.

Also, when we lose power, we lose the ability to flush toilets and take showers. I can do that when I camp. I can also live by candlelight and huddle near the wood stove. But living in a house should not be camping. Also, the control.

Here's what the wind has been up to. And this is later, when it was calm enough to go outside, y'all.



Here are the other results of those gale-force winds that caused our power outage. They are generally not as bad as they first appear. (This post is labeled "today" even though these are more properly "yesterday.")



This tree is barely kissing the front of the larger camp. No windows were damaged in the uprooting of this tree. No roof damage occurred. Whew.

Speaking of uprooting, let's take a virtual tour of the smaller camp, shall we?

Uh-huh. These would be the roots, as in, "what was left." Here's what happened.



Yikes! I get the willies looking at it and I know how safe this was. Here's the damage:



Yup. That's it. That's all. Just a bit of roof on the corner of the eave. It's not even leaking (from THAT spot, anyway) into the camp structure proper.

We have been watching this tree since May. I would swear I had taken a picture of the base, but perhaps I just shuddered and walked past instead. Anyway, the trunk was pretty well eaten away by bugs and birds.

We (both of us) had wondered how we (Roy) would fell this thing without first fretting us (me) to death. We could not figure out a direction to take it down that wouldn't endanger the camp, other trees, and/or the worker(s).

And now it's done been done fer us.

Whew and double whew.

In the ultimate Clampett moment, Roy said, "At least there's been enough water leaking in to flush the toilets with."

That's my Finn-Swede Clampett husband, folks. Just looking on the bright side.

Countries Behaving Badly

Of all the bad timing in the world...

I have to renew my permanent residence card. My residence status isn't changing at all. I just need a card to prove my status when I cross the border using a commercial form of transportation. Renewing it requires filling out bazoodles of paperwork and then waiting a year and a day (well, 2/3 of a year), all of which is a blog topic for another day.

Because today I'm heartsick. Like Canadian officials, I've been ignoring Omar Khadr. Yesterday, the 24-year-old, who has spent 1/3 of his life locked up in Guantanamo and the other 2/3 growing up brainwashed by his family into becoming an American-hating future terrorist, entered a guilty plea in front of a U.S. military tribunal.

The "gold standard" evidence, crowed the U.S. military officials, was a confession that he threw a grenade that killed an American soldier and wounded others. The part that they didn't brag about was that they tortured him, a teenager, to get it.

It is believed--certainly by Khadr--that he will serve one year of his sentence at Guantanamo Bay, and "the rest of his sentence" in Canada.

Or, more properly, he will serve one MORE year at Guantanamo Bay. That's one MORE year, after some 8 years already. And the Harper government here is making no promises about taking him back after that.

In fact, CBC reports that more and more often, Canada is refusing to allow Canadians serving time in the U.S. to transfer to Canada, where they have access to rehabilitation and are closer to their families. Instead, Canadian officials leave them in the U.S., where they are denied access to rehabilitative services (because they're foreign nationals) and leave prison without any information about their offenses on their Canadian record. How exactly is this helping anyone? The offender gets no help and no support from family to re-enter the general population to live in a more constructive way. And Canadian officials don't know that s/he's just done time in the U.S.

Safety? Security? How does the treatment of Omar Khadr by either country, and the Harper government's so-called "tough on crime" attitude, help anyone? How many future terrorists were inflamed into action, not intimidated or prevented from action, by the way Omar Khadr has been treated?

So it is again time for me to choose to live in Canada. It is with a heavy heart that I collect documents and fill out paperwork proving that I am who I say I am.

I'm committed to my life in Canada. I am not ready to cut ties to the U.S., where I was born and where I also have family. But today, I am not particularly proud of the official actions of either country.

The only bright spot in all of this is that I have the ability to say so. At least for now.

(And oh by the way, here's hoping that the reason I am allowed to exercise this right to speak freely has everything to do with my citizenship and my immigration status, and nothing to do with the fact that I am a white, nominally Christian person.)

47 Days of Thanks and/or Gratitude, Week 2

The round-up from the second week of this grand experiment (go here to see what this is or here for Week 1):

‎47 Days of Thanks, Day 8: I'm grateful that our dump (uh, landfill) recycles paint! We got rid of a lot of old stuff and are ready to start fresh in the spring.

‎47 Days of Thanks, Day 9: I'm grateful that the round of chemo my brother Pete starts today is his last and that his bloodwork keeps giving such good results. Thanks, medicine! Go, Pete!

‎47 Days of Thanks, Day 10: I am inexpressibly grateful to have about 38 hours when I can work from home and just BE here without any need to go to meetings in town. First extended time at home since last Monday (including weekends). Ahh.

‎47 Days of Thanks, Day 11: I'm grateful that my brother, Pete, is surrounded by such a loving and gifted family. I admire how his wife, Lois; his daughter, Elizabeth Agnew Cochran (her husband Mike keeps their home fires burning); and his son, the irrepressible Peter, work together to care for Pete and each other. Thanks, y'all!

‎47 Days of Thanks, Day 12: I'm grateful for two opportunities yesterday to contemplate happiness. One here in a FB discussion and one at Trinity United Church--part of a series of 8 (Weds at 7:30; 6 more times; all independent yet linked) led by Rev. Randy Boyd and linking research in positive psychology to faith. So thought-inspiring!

‎47 Days of Thanks, Day 13: I'm grateful for technology that connects me to extended family and friends. Through FB, I can stay in touch with cousins during a difficult time or have a "hi how are you?" moment with someone I knew well 30 years ago and still miss. Could I do this with old technology like pen/paper? Yes, but would I? Not sure.

47 Days of Thanks, Day 14: I'm grateful when my schedule allows me to sleep in and my body cooperates! It's great to feel rested.

Here's what I learned this week.

1. I haven't run out of gratitude! I am finding both cosmic and local things to be authentically grateful for. And here I thought I was more curmudgeonly than your average bear. Which leads me to #2.

2. It's possible to be grateful when I'm sad or blue or stressed or curmudgeonly or generally fretful. For example, this week is my brother's last chemo treatment, and I am conscious of his ordeal yet hopeful at his results. Also, my aunt lies in a health crisis, and my heart goes out to my uncle and cousins. I'm sad not only remembering my own family's passage through that valley but also because my vital, vivacious aunt's time with them seems near its end. Yet I can still be grateful for discussions of happiness and for the ability to stay in touch with them in their important time.

3. Feeling gratitude doesn't magically transform those other feelings. I didn't feel any less stressed or blue when I stopped to feel grateful. But the conscious exercise of gratitude does remind me that my life is a kaleidoscope of feelings. I am more than the quivering, nervous, martyred, unachieving creature I sometimes feel myself to be. I am also blessed, and grateful for it. Even if I feel it only for a moment.

I wonder what Week 3 will bring.

Brown, with Gold and Ruddy Accents

April is definitely the brownest month around here, but late October isn't far behind.

I haven't been around the house much--running hither and thither in town--so haven't been taking many pictures. Anyway, here are a couple.

Here's the light.

Here's the tree.


So yeah, I've been in town. But also, it's just harder to get excited about taking pictures when you're documenting the decline of verdancy.

I realize the same process documents the ascendance of winter. Ya-hoo.

No matter way I try to reframe it, taking pictures at this time of year--after the leaves fall but before any snow does--just doesn't enthrall me as much.

And as we know, November will be gray. Or grey. Depending.

Everywhere except the top of my head, that is. Which, like October, will be ...
(see title of post).

47 Days of Gratitude, Week 1

Here are the status updates from Week 1. You'll notice (or maybe you won't) I use "Gratitude" in the tag but changed that to "Thanks" in Facebook to save characters. And then I didn't need all those characters after all, which is probably for the best.

47 Days of Thanks, Day 1: A quiet north-of-the-border Thanksgiving. I'm so grateful I had the chance to be with family recently!

‎47 Days of Thanks, Day 2: I'm grateful that I enjoy my regular life so much that I spend holidays, like today, doing many of the same things.

47 Days of Thanks, Day 3: I'm grateful that yesterday I happened to be in the right place (kitchen) at the right time (staring out the window at about noon) to see two bald eagles doing aerobatics over the bay.

‎47 Days of Thanks, Day 4: I'm VERY grateful for the inspiration of hearing good writing read VERY well last night at the reading sponsored by the Northwestern Ontario Writers Workshop. People around here do good work!

‎47 Days of Thanks, Day 5: I'm grateful that creative, dedicated people go into science and engineering to make possible new technology that will improve our lives--and pull off feats like the miner rescue in Chile. Now, how about making it safer to be a miner??

‎47 Days of Thanks, Day 6: I'm grateful that gray, cloudy days (like yesterday) can start with a colo(u)rful, striking sunrise! And I get another one this morning--bonus!

‎47 Days of Thanks, Day 7: I'm grateful for all the online resources that make it possible for me to participate in today's Book Club discussion without re-reading every single word of A Tale of Two Cities. (It was an issue of time, not interest, but I know my high school English teacher looks down on me in disapproval. Sigh.)

It's been an interesting journey so far. Of course I have developed "rules," or anyway "rule." I have picked one thing from that morning or the previous day that actually inspired the feeling of gratitude in me, instead of casting about for something I think should be grateful for or going for a "motherhood" topic.

I'm also finding that I stop occasionally during the day to notice feeling grateful for something, because I know I will have to pick something for my status update. Which, as my mother would say, is the benefit of the discipline of doing gratitude this way.

So...on we go.

Glove Love

This week I've been doing things to close up "it may be a shack but it's our shack." Things like bringing chairs up from the beach, bringing loads of towels etc. back, clearing out cans of old old old (yes, that old) paint.

I've been wearing work gloves. As a bonus, I also found a pair of work gloves over there, a pair I thought I'd lost.

After doing stuff on Monday, I left the gloves on the bench on the front porch of the house to, I don't know what. To get some sun, I guess. To air out. To be dealt with later, is probably the most honest statement.

This morning, one of the gloves was lying on the grass in the side yard. The other three are nowhere to be found.

This would be called Glove Mystery except that while I was off visiting family a couple of weeks ago, Roy happened to see a young fox playing with a shoe in the yard on the lake side of the house. Playing like a dog, in fact--shaking the shoe as if to break its little neck.

The shoe, which we left in the yard in the hope that the fox would reappear, is not mine and certainly not Roy's.

The shoe apparently showed up with the fox.

Who apparently thinks that white eyelet slipons are so five minutes ago (much like the phrase "so five minutes ago").

Who apparently has developed an extra-special liking for my work gloves.

Roy checked a few obvious places this morning for the other three gloves, to no avail. We suspect they are the new wallpaper or bedding in a den somewhere. I hope whoever has them enjoys them! And I'm trying not to feel rewarded by this. Because now I don't have to decide whether the gloves are salvageable. Plus I have only one to throw away! The benefits of procrastination.

But mostly, it's really weird to think that the fox came onto the porch and took the gloves.

I guess it's no weirder than when the bear took a swipe at the front door handle.

Yeah, civilization and wilderness. Not so different around here.

Forty-Seven Days of Thanks

As I said last year in November, I have a personal history of feeling ambivalent about Thanksgiving. The ambivalence pre-dates my move to Canada, but now that I'm here, I have two days to feel ambivalent about it. I guess that keeps me balanced.

This year, I'm trying something different. Today is Thanksgiving in Canada. (Tomorrow is the holiday, but today is Thanksgiving. No, I don't understand it, but that's how my husband explained it.) November 25 is Thanksgiving in the U.S. By my count, that's 47 days, counting both today and November 25.

For each of these days, my Facebook status will be something I'm grateful for. Something different. I am grateful for chocolate every day, but I can't say that more than once during these 47 days. (And that was just an example, so yes, it's still an option. Sheesh with the rules, already.) I accidentally started today, even though I wasn't aware that this was a plan.

I would like to think I could sit and list 47 things I'm grateful for--sincerely grateful for, not just funny-ha-ha-grateful, like chocolate--but I suspect the exercise will be harder than I imagine. In any case, I'm hoping to not prepare more than a day or two in advance.

I will report back here from time to time, too, but mostly it will happen on Facebook.

Other Americans, Canadians, and Camericans (Can-mericans? Canamericans? Ameradians?) are welcome to play, too, publicly or privately.

Because from where I sit, it seems that focusing on gratitude might do us all some good.

Seriously?

It's October. It's almost not even early October anymore.
So seriously: this is still in the front garden?

I swear, this place is so beautiful it makes me cry.
See this picture? It's all blurry because I was crying when I took it.

Not really. But you probably knew that.
I'm serious about the beautiful and crying, though.

A Secret

As I do my rounds of the blogs in the morning,* I sometimes find that one of my regulars hasn't updated in awhile.

"Oh," I think. "She must be too busy living her fascinating life in her fascinating city, which is more fascinating than the life I live here. She is probably spending time doing worthy things, things far more worthy than entertaining me on a day when I don't feel like doing my own worthy things." I often feel a trifle sad and indulge in a low-self-esteem moment.

It occured to me this morning that I (as someone who has somehow posted 400+ times, how did that happen?) actually know better. First hand, even.

I haven't been here in more than a week. Yes, I have been off doing fascinating things with my family: talking shop with my brother and sister-in-law, couting dogs and admiring art with my nephew, chatting about models and life and work with my sister.

But sometimes, when I haven't posted something here or on the website, it's not because I'm doing something "better" or "more interesting."

I haven't posted because I got nuthin'.

Which is today. I did have a wonderful time on my holiday. I had a bunch of stuff to take care of before I left and have been catching up since I've been home. But that's not why I'm not here. The head cold I brought back also is not responsible for the lack of posting.

I got nuthin', that's all.

So maybe those low-self-esteem moments have been unnecessary. Maybe the great bloggers, the other not-quite-Andrew Sullivans of the blogging world, also have days where they have nuthin' and THAT's why they're not posting.

Or maybe not. But anyway, that's me, today. It's obviously a day that calls for a pedicure. Bye.

*Yes, I know I could put them on some kind of feed or something and therefore KNOW when they're updated. Where is the fun in that? Sometimes what I need isn't to KNOW something, what I need is the chance to surf around mindlessly and be entertained, or perhaps feel sad and low-self-esteemy.