Man (disdainful): There are plenty of OLD ideas for mosquito protection.
Same man (smug): Here's one that's PROVEN.
Old. Proven. Opposites? I think not.
In fact, aren't they a little, like, NOT-opposite? As in pretty similar? Because how can an idea be PROVEN without being a little--how to say this--not-NEW? For an idea to be proven, it has to be tested, and for it to be tested, it has to be at least a little bit OLD.
What were these people thinking?
Obviously, we don't want OLD ideas. OLD ideas are bad, because advertisers know that in our consumer world, all old everythings everywhere are bad. But wait, a sanity moment: old ideas include democracy, liquor, artwork, and named days of the week. All old ideas. Not bad ones. Just old. Grr, said the crabby old lady.
Moving along. Yes, we definitely want ideas that are PROVEN. Presumably they mean "proven to be successful," given the man's smugness.
And really, they don't mean PROVEN IDEAS so much as they mean EFFECTIVE PRODUCTS. Can they not sell us some of those? I'd even take an OLD product, if it WORKS.
In fact, I would dearly love a product that would repel mosquitoes without making me or my yard smell like chemicals. But until something more EFFECTIVE comes along, I'm a fan of the chemicals. I use SC Johnson's Deep Woods OFF in spite of the smell and chemicals because I am past my childhood and childbearing years and am going to die from something and would like to be itch-free while I do it.
But back to the old vs. proven debate. This ad had to be written by committee. Late at night. After someone said "Nobody wants new ideas in mosquito protection--they want something that works!" And somehow, "proven" got put in a slot that was meant to contain "new" or even "new and improved," and this is what you have.
And here's the saddest part of all. This commercial has bugged me (ha ha ha) for at least two summers already. This may even be the third summer I've shouted at the TV "proven is not the opposite of old!" But I don't remember the actual product.
An ineffective ad in SO MANY ways.
