Because we get just two-and-a-half channels (CBC and CTV, the two national channels, and sometimes the provincial public channel, TVO--like sometimes "y"), we see what feels like more than our share of local ads.
The two worst local ads, hands down, feature the children of the proprietors. I won't name names, but one proprietor is a realtor and one sells the most important component in bedroom furniture. The furniture kids have taken acting classes, so the ads with them end up looking like youth group skits. The realtor kid is blond and cute enough if you like smartass and snarky, but he has no idea what he's saying and the result is a mess.
The best local ad series features a bald guy, naked except for a towel, selling saunas and equipment. He's not great-looking but calling him "ugly" is actually a stretch. He's mostly a blank slate. He doesn't speak--the only sound is a folk song played on an accordion.
The first ad shows him in a sauna (pronounced SOW-na, like COW-na), enjoying the heat and wood and ambience, and then making a snow angel outside. (For real--the guy lies down in the snow. Naked.) It ran back in the January/February timeframe, when people were still going in the sauna and searching for snow for that heart-stopping thrill. It even featured a disclaimer, that the guy in the ad was a professional sauna-enjoyer, the Finnish word for which I've forgotten. I think that was to cover the complaint calls when newbies to the sauna try the snow angel bit.
The second ad in the series is actually better. It shows the bald (presumably naked) guy getting out of a taxi in front of the sauna supply store, where he receives a towel with the company logo to wrap himself in. Then the guy checks out all the sauna accessories--thermometers, things to smack yourself on the back with, good-smelling stuff--and leaves with a wooden bucket full. The ad even shows a street sign, locating the sauna store near the intersection of Bay and Algoma, a Scandinavian neighborhood known as something of a tourist destination.
The sauna ads are great. It's partly because the ads aren't about the guy--he's not buff, he's not preening, he doesn't smile. He's single-minded about his sauna, which keeps the focus where it belongs, on the products. They're also great because the guy doesn't talk and therefore doesn't reveal whether he can (or can't) read words in a way that makes sense or act. He's just a 30-year-old Canadian enjoying the sauna.
I'm probably not a typical consumer. Ads hardly ever drive me to buy something, but they often prevent me from buying something. Thanks to the local ads, I know a realtor I'll avoid and a store where I won't be buying bedroom furniture. I'm not a sauna convert, but I could see visiting the store out of curiosity, and I certainly know where to shop for sauna-related gifts.
Local business owners, take note: others may tell you your kids are cute and talented. But are you selling cute kids?
