The United States could not have a better friend and ally than Canada.Barak Obama said that on February 19 to a cheering throng of Canadians. A Nanos Research poll released earlier this month shows that nearly 90 percent of Canadians agree or somewhat agree with this statement.
But don't get confused. Here's what he's NOT saying: Canada and the U.S., BFF. (That's Best Friends Forever, for the less happ'nin' among us.) Nope.
I really don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to come right out and say it. This "best friend" thing: it's not mutual. To the rank and file American, Canada is like that person they have to be nice to.
You know. The guy you have to go to the dance with because he is the son of someone who works with your parents, and anyway, the guy you really like didn't ask you to the dance. And this Canada guy is fine. Polite, even. Funny in a quiet way. Lives next door and keeps the yard tidy. Apologizes if he has to come over and say your party's bothering him. Nothing wrong with him. But...meh.
So, who do Americans think their country's best friend is? Some would say it's England. England is that ex with whom you share all that history. Americans think England is a great country, really, except for that time 200+ years ago when it got a little over-controlling. But we showed them what's what, and now that we all know where we stand--yeah, we're close.
A few Americans who have traveled would say America's best friend is Australia. Aussies are like Californians--laid-back and friendly without the weirdnesses. And hey, Australia has some of that same shared history, too. And they talk funny. Americans love that.
But you know what? Americans don't really think of themselves as having friends. America, to Americans, is the world leader. Leaders really can't have friends. A friend is someone you can disagree with, and you do disagree openly with that friend, yet you still chat and you exchange perspectives and influence each other's ideas. A friend's happiness is almost as important to you, ALMOST--almost, as your own happiness is. Almost.
Sorry, Canada. And sorry England and Australia and the rest of the world's countries, too. America doesn't have friends. Not even close.
Instead, America has allies, as President Obama said above. America likes its allies a lot, especially when those allies agree with the American perspective. But an ally's well-being ranks nowhere near America's. An ally's interests are clearly subordinate to America's interests. America will sign an agreement with you but if the agreement turns out to cost them money (*cough* softwood lumber *cough*), they'll tell you how the world is. And you'll go along. Because America is a leader.
Of course, everything I've written above (after "Nope.") is a gross generalization.
Some Americans do appreciate the friendship Canada has shown. Some understand that true friendly relationships--beyond alliances drawn up decades ago--among nations are necessary. It's important to have those relationships in place when conflicts of interest arise.
And, thankfully, one of those Americans apparently lives in the White House.
But I hope Canada doesn't depend too much on that friendship. Because, Canada: America just isn't that into you.
I know. We were all waiting for that line, weren't we?
