Down the Well

I was all set to write today about this video that NBC showed before the Olympics Opening Ceremonies. In it, Tom Brokaw raves (for 6 minutes!!) about the "special bond" that the U.S. and Canada share. I would embed it, but I can't since YouTube and NBigBrotherC know I'm in the wrong country. It's available to Americans at nbcolympics.com, though.

In any case, it's really very sweet. It was forwarded to me by a Canadian friend who was blown away by the nice things it said about the people here.

I felt a slightly different vibe. By the end of the six minutes (6 minutes!!!), I felt as if I'd sat through a parental lecture. You know the kind.

"Why don't you ask that nice neighbor boy to the dance? His family are good people. Remember how last summer, you and he would run through the sprinkler together? And he was so polite when he came by the other day to sell magazines to raise money for the band. It's unfortunate about his skin but I'm sure it will clear up when he outgrows that baby fat."

Meanwhile, you have your eye on that bitchin' Aussie with the laughing eyes or the dashing Brit that looks like William. But NO, the 'rents have to nag on and on about the doofus next door with the silly laugh who blushes when he looks your way.

I'm sticking with Shane Koyczan's explanation of Canada, myself.

See how I managed to write about it without actually giving the context?

What I'm really writing about today is the well. This time of year, it freezes. Technically, the water freezes inside a join in the pipe. All I know is, water can't get from the well outside into the cistern in the basement, and that makes me nervous. The water, however, is at least there--which is sometimes doubtful in July and August, the prime visiting times, but that's another story.

Thus, one of our hairdryers goes down into the well at this time of year and stays there till May.

It's really safer than it sounds. For one thing, by "down the well" I mean "into the outdoor shaft that has the well part at the bottom" (well part = technical term). The hair dryer isn't near water. We all know bad things can result from that.

And also too, the hair dryer doesn't run all the time--just for ten or fifteen minutes in the morning, till the ice melts and the water runs again.

One disadvantage of having a hair dryer down the well is that it adds to the Clampett ambience of this otherwise somewhat respectable country house. (I swear the tires as landscaping aids depart this summer.) An extension cord runs from the outlet in the garage across what passes for a front lawn (or maybe it's the back lawn--away from the lake, but at the front of the house, very confusing) to the well shaft. We plug and unplug the extension cord at the garage to turn it on and off.

However, I suppose lack of water to the house would increase the Clampett ambience a lot faster than any extension cords (regular bathing being a custom in these here parts). Plus, this setup works, which is its main advantage. I do wonder at times whether there's a better way--but now, when it's cold and windy and there's snow on the ground, is not the time to seek it. Naturally, when the weather is better and thus more conducive to investigation, we don't need the fix.

Which, believe it or not, ties back into the "Introducing Canada to America" video. Yes, the two countries share a special relationship. The doofus next door is a perfectly sweet kid. If you're honest with yourself, you know this. The kid, Canada, doesn't really need the hard sell.

And if the U.S. just took a moment to be a good citizen of the continent, the U.S. would know that, too.

So thanks, Mr. Brokaw, but shut up. Let Canada speak for itself. And if the U.S. fans can resist the Darling Couple of Ice Dancing and the Gutsy Lady of Figure Skating...well, there's no hope for them anyway.