Two WikiThoughts

So, Wikileaks. So what?

1. News flash: DIPLOMACY REQUIRES TACT.

2. As the World High School Turns: Episode summary.

Chris, the crusading and/or conniving editor of the school newspaper, found a diary containing the most personal and private thoughts of Usa, the most popular girl in the school (just ask her).

Chris, being the crusading type, or possibly the connving type, plans to publish the diary in the school newspaper, page by page, thus drawing out the drama all week long.

The school is all a-twitter. (Twitter: See how au courant I am?) What does Usa think of us? Of me?

Those in the Asia club huddle to gossip, but then North Korea pokes South Korea in the eye and China says, "Don't make me come back there" and they lose their focus.

The members of the African club try not to be concerned. Australia and New Zealand shrug and go surfing with their Pacific Islander friends. Central and South America pretend to go about their business but hang out in the hallway outside the newspaper office.

Two groups of loners (yes, it's oxymoronic)--the Middle East and India/Pakistan/Bangladesh--brace themselves for the publication of nonsense about them (though Israel and India secretly think they'll come out looking relatively good).

Poor Haiti. It's home sick. (Seriously. Haiti deserves a better 2011.)

The Scandinavian Club remains aloof, as usual. Somone in the former Soviet club insults a former Baltic state and a scuffle ensues. Russia officiates.

The groups disband and reform: the History club (members of the former British Empire) meet to share rumors, then report back to their home continents. The former Soviet republics touch base with Turkey, the Middle East loners, and north Africa, then drift back.

Even the European Club, focused though they are on ekeing out each other's allowances, can't pretend they don't know that Usa's most secret feelings are going to be made public.

Meanwhile, Canada sits at the window, staring out into the evening. What will Usa say about me? Will Usa recognize my loyalty? Will she compliment my mission in Afghanistan, my compliance in trade negotiations, my leadership, uh, followership, uh, "being there"-ness in environmental and security issues? Will Usa go on record and tell everybody we're really best friends?

A horrible thought crosses Canada's mind: what if Usa doesn't say anything about me at all?

Tune in tomorrow, when Canada is forced to write her pal Usa a sternly worded letter (in invisible ink) in As The World High School Turns.