A Secret

As I do my rounds of the blogs in the morning,* I sometimes find that one of my regulars hasn't updated in awhile.

"Oh," I think. "She must be too busy living her fascinating life in her fascinating city, which is more fascinating than the life I live here. She is probably spending time doing worthy things, things far more worthy than entertaining me on a day when I don't feel like doing my own worthy things." I often feel a trifle sad and indulge in a low-self-esteem moment.

It occured to me this morning that I (as someone who has somehow posted 400+ times, how did that happen?) actually know better. First hand, even.

I haven't been here in more than a week. Yes, I have been off doing fascinating things with my family: talking shop with my brother and sister-in-law, couting dogs and admiring art with my nephew, chatting about models and life and work with my sister.

But sometimes, when I haven't posted something here or on the website, it's not because I'm doing something "better" or "more interesting."

I haven't posted because I got nuthin'.

Which is today. I did have a wonderful time on my holiday. I had a bunch of stuff to take care of before I left and have been catching up since I've been home. But that's not why I'm not here. The head cold I brought back also is not responsible for the lack of posting.

I got nuthin', that's all.

So maybe those low-self-esteem moments have been unnecessary. Maybe the great bloggers, the other not-quite-Andrew Sullivans of the blogging world, also have days where they have nuthin' and THAT's why they're not posting.

Or maybe not. But anyway, that's me, today. It's obviously a day that calls for a pedicure. Bye.

*Yes, I know I could put them on some kind of feed or something and therefore KNOW when they're updated. Where is the fun in that? Sometimes what I need isn't to KNOW something, what I need is the chance to surf around mindlessly and be entertained, or perhaps feel sad and low-self-esteemy.