Leave for a Week

...and the government changes, with perogies for everyone!

OK, not exactly.

You remember, of course, the Canadian election in October. It was ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY because the Prime Minister claimed Parliament had become dysfunctional, because they passed everything he proposed. Although that is indeed a sign of dysfunction, it's not dysfunction in the way Harper meant. But that's a separate story.

What Harper meant was, "I think I could get a majority government now, so I'm going to call an election even though I previously passed legislation making it illegal to call an election for another year." I've said before that Harper is learning some lessons by looking to the snide and condescending attitudes of executives in the U.S. He's obviously been studying their power grabs, too.

I suspect the election was motivated in part by a wish that Canadians were interested in their own election as much as they were interested in the U.S. election. Or else it was motivated by the belief that Canadians wouldn't notice there was a Canadian election, given the feisty, maverick drama playing to the south.

But anyway, there was a completely unnecessary election in which Harper achieved not a whole lot, to great expense.

Then the U.S. election happened. Although Canadian news organizations are following President-Elect Obama's every move as breathlessly as the U.S. news organizations are, that still leaves plenty of time for dead air.

So someone decided to make things interesting. And the biggest surprise is that that "someone" was Stephen Harper! He decided to cut off financial support for political parties. The Liberal Party was already weakened by the election and in the middle of a leadership crisis. Although some Canadians may indeed be happy that electoral reform is on the agenda in Ottawa, this seems like an obvious "kick them when they're down" strategy.

And speaking of arrogance and cockiness, Harper made this bill a confidence motion. Voting against it brings down the few-week-old government. So here's the choice for the opposition parties: vote to cut off your right arm, or tell Canadians it's time for another election. Talk about "rock" and "hard place"!

So the three parties in opposition--the New Democrats, the Liberals, and the Bloc Quebecois--got together. They're now planning to go to the Governor-General and ask her to let them form a government, since Harper is unable to form one. Although rumor said that Michael Ignatieff was going to be the PM, recently it looks like Dion would be PM, with Jack Layton (the NDP leader) as Deputy PM.

The Bloc, which is against Quebec being in Canada at all, would of course be prevented from having a role in this government. Why? Because their party exists for the sole purpose of extracting Quebec from this country. (For Americans: It's like people running for federal office on the "Big Government is Bad" platform and then legalizing spying on the public and spending epic and wasteful sums on the miliary, leaving huge debt and running huge deficits. Sound familiar?)

It's also just like in The Brady Bunch, when one of the kids does something stupid and the rest of them gang up on him or her, and then Carol Brady has to explain that we're all in this together because we're one family now. Only the Governor General wears more stylish clothing and is more substantive all around.

But it's a dilemma, all right. Do you pick Peter Brady even though he confuses wearing a blue sweater with having family values and goes back on his own laws? Or do you hope for the best with the rest of the squabbling bunch of kids in charge? Do Bobby and Cindy have the economic experience to help the family weather their financial woes? Greg and Marcia may be making out in the tent in the back yard now, but how long will that alliance last? And that Jan--she's always a wild card.

Let's also keep in mind that in the recent election, Dion inspired even less confidence than the previous Liberal leader did in the previous election, and less confidence in his ability to run the country than Stephen Harper did. The Liberal party lost seats in the October election. Voters obviously didn't think Dion could lead the country. So, even though Jan ran in the recent election and more of the country voted for Peter, Jan would end up as the leader. How is this fair? Mom? Dad?

On the up side, I'm learning new vocabulary very quickly. Recently, Harper announced something that I thought was about perogies, those tasty mashed-potato-pasta morsels smothered in mushrooms, onions, and sour cream. Even I would vote for that!

But it turned out he said "prorogue," which means that he'd suspend Parliament until January sometime. I assume he's hoping that the Canadian economy will hold on until then and that by the end of January, President Obama will have enough details in place that Harper can develop something for Canada.

Never mind that Canada is a separate country. Never mind that Harper is an economist and could be expected to have his own programs. Never mind that the holidays would be far less merry in a power vacuum like that. "Blue Christmas" must be the PM's favourite Christmas song.

Truthfully, I think a lot of this is inspired by election envy. "Boring? Who says Canadian politics is boring? We got our colo(u)rful characters up here, too! See?"

But to get back to my main point, which seems to be my life's refrain: This is serious, people. It's not time for hi-jinks, for wackiness ensuing, for Learning Valuable Lessons in 1970s California. I can joke about the Brady Bunch, but that's really not fair to Canadians, or Americans, for that matter.

This is a real situation. Real people are losing jobs. They're supporting families; they have serious debt and no employment prospects. Relief agencies are working overtime. However this situation is resolved, the people in charge had better be ready. If now is not a good time for Harper to make a power grab, it's not a good time for the opposition parties to, either.

Instead, it's time for real leadership. And in Canadian politics today, the Governor General seems to be our best hope.

And the best of luck to her, too.