There's Nothing Like Political Rhetoric

...to make me grouchy. At least today.

I really do have a great life and I am extremely grateful to be able to live where, when, and how I live.

Normally, here are the kinds of things I get grouchy about.

The basket of Ontario peaches I bought Tuesday were a trifle hard, so I set them on the counter, but now they're rotting, not ripening.

I'm chilly in my basement office today, in spite of fleece, and it's just too early in the season to be chilly.

Yeah, woe is me. Boo and hoo.

In August, I got to eat several baskets' worth of fabulous Ontario peaches. The view from my basement office is great and I can always turn on the heater if I get cold. Besides, the weather will likely warm up before it turns cold for good. I mean, life is fabulous.

Except for the politics. Really.

In 2004, I was barely starting to move here and could blissfully ignore most of the U.S. political activity, since my mind was made up and the acrimony of the administration showed that real debate wasn't going to happen. I spent my birthday sick with the flu and got even sicker when it became apparent that I wasn't going to the birthday gift I most desired--a new president. There wasn't an election in Canada at that time. If I'd had a TV, I could have found solace in Canadian Content (a topic for another post someday).

Since then, Canadian provincial and federal elections have come and gone. The Liberals also picked a new leader, in a multi-day theatrical festival. I was interested in these events because I wanted to learn about Canadian politics. And if I hadn't been, I could always have retreated to American Idol and Fear Factor (except, being me, I'd have found a good book instead), because Canada is a non-entity on U.S. television stations. ("Wow, they have elections up there? What's up with that? Our elections aren't good enough for them?")

But now, I'm getting it from both sides of the border at the same time, and I feel trapped.

Stephen Harper is a stand-up guy. (I don't like to think about that.) Stephane Dion is a bumbling Mr. Peepers and the Liberal party is divided about the best way to run this election THAT HASN'T BEEN CALLED YET, PEOPLE. Sarah Palin is an attack dog, showing by her delivery of one ghostwritten speech that she is equal to the task of sitting one heartbeat away from the Oval Office. Barak Obama is only an empty promise. Joe Biden is a has-been. John McCain is a principled maverick.

All of those things might be true. I doubt it, but I don't know. Nobody does, especially those saying things like that. They're guesses, predictions based on limited, surface-scratched images that don't take into account the candidates' previous actions. And actions are where it's at.

As Eliza Doolittle said in My Fair Lady, "Don't talk at all--show me!"

I realize that political advertising is an art form unto itself. It's hard to convey substance. Polls show that people (who, incidentally, lie to pollsters) SAY they vote based on a candidate's image. So selling the image is important. I know this. And sometimes I find it interesting.

But I'm not liking it right now. I have nowhere to escape. Except, of course, being me, I have good books.

Maybe it's not the political rhetoric, really. Maybe I'm really grouchy about the weather, and the peaches.

But I will be glad when November has come and gone. And at least there will be apples between now and then.